


sing me to sleep

by bookwan



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, I cried writing this, M/M, please see end notes if you want to see archive warnings!!, when i say angst i mean angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 18:10:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11167284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookwan/pseuds/bookwan
Summary: mingyu wishes they could see eternity with each other, watch the sun paint the sky at morning, and the stars dance through the universe at night. but he knows that however far they travel, they will never reach tomorrow.





	sing me to sleep

**Author's Note:**

> hey welcome, this is severely unedited and also written at 2AM
> 
> skip to end if you want archive warnings!

They're traveling through the mountains together, searching for nothing, wandering aimlessly. There's nothing for miles, nothing but the jagged rock that lines the mountains, the wild grass that sways with the wind, the forests that are nothing more than dark greens far off in the distance. 

They walk on a path together, though, gravel roads that swing around every mountain as far as the eye can see, until all that appears is blue horizon. Mingyu's grip on Wonwoo's hand never loosens, grasping tightly onto him as though if he let go, he might lose him forever.

(He never wants to lose him again.)

Sometimes an animal will scurry by their feet, a stray rabbit or fox or squirrel. Wonwoo often reaches down to pet the animal, but when it darts out of his reach, he turns and pouts at Mingyu. Mingyu laughs every time, a bright smile painting his face, and Wonwoo laughs with him. And they take each other's hand once more, and continue on their eternal pathway together.

Evening arrives far earlier than Mingyu would have liked. He likes how this place plays out, the serenity he feels, holding Wonwoo close and listening to the wind sing through the grass. The sky is beautiful at night, though - he's always enjoyed this part the most. For one split second, their grips loosen on each other and they stare in unison at the sky, watching the stars blink and the half-moon that seems so close, Mingyu wants to reach out and touch it.

Wonwoo points at a shooting star after a moment; Mingyu turns and watches his mouth open in delight, a bubble of laughter coming out of him, and he smiles too, watching the shooting star with him. It travels slowly across the sky, and their eyes follow it, watching in wonder.

Wonwoo turns to him after a few moments. "What do you wish for, Mingyu?" he murmurs, so quiet it's almost inaudible, but his voice is sweet, soothing. Mingyu thinks it's more beautiful than any symphony he's ever heard before. 

Mingyu thinks hard for a moment, wondering of what he could possibly wish for under the gleaming star. When he finds his wish, he turns back to Wonwoo and grins at him. "If I tell you, it won't come true," he says teasingly, shaking a finger. Wonwoo snorts and shakes his head, staring at the stars once more.

(Mingyu wants to believe that his wish will come true, but he's already wished on too many stars.)

-

They're sitting at a beach together, eating towering ice cream cones that wobble every time they move. Mingyu lets out a tiny shriek as his nearly topples off, and Wonwoo laughs, poking Mingyu's cheek. Mingyu slaps his hand away, but Wonwoo pecks his cheek and he nearly melts with his ice cream, under the beating sun.

The beach is void of people, no one except for them, and the sand is pure white, silky toes. Mingyu keeps squishing his toes in them, telling Wonwoo they should make a sand castle. Wonwoo laughs and tells him sand castles are for little kids, and they bicker and bicker until Wonwoo gives in and together they build their own little castle until it's washed away by the tide.

Eventually Mingyu wanders into the water, still fully clothed, not minding the blasting cold that hits his ankles. He wanders further and further out, until he's shoulder-deep, and it takes a bit of convincing but Wonwoo walks out to him and together they stand, watching the waves roll in together. Wonwoo points at something in the distance, and when Mingyu isn't looking, the older boy shoves him into the water.

They laugh and play for a while, and these are truly the times Mingyu relishes, because Wonwoo is happy, Wonwoo is content. He hates it when Wonwoo is unhappy.

(Mingyu tries his hardest to think back, but he can't remember where they got the ice cream cones from.)

-

Sometimes, Wonwoo grows sad, and Mingyu does not know why. Those days are the worst days. Mingyu can't imagine what makes Wonwoo so unhappy when they're surrounded by the most beautiful of landscapes, with their own universe to wander, all to themselves.

(Isn't Wonwoo happy to be with Mingyu?)

Mingyu wants to make Wonwoo better. So he tries, does anything to get Wonwoo's spirits up, but nothing ever seems to work. Wonwoo tends to fall silent on these days - Mingyu's questions go unanswered. He never has found out why Wonwoo gets so sad.

Wonwoo never cries, though, at least not in front of Mingyu. Wonwoo's always been tougher than that, Mingyu knows, and he's not going to break anytime soon.

But sometimes Mingyu feels it too, an overwhelming sadness that overcomes him and he's not even sure why. He lays down for most of those days, sobbing while Wonwoo rubs his back and murmurs comforting words into his ear. 

(Sometimes he tries to sleep, too, but no matter how hard he tries he can never seem to drift away from consciousness.) 

Wonwoo knows, Mingyu thinks, Wonwoo knows why the sadness happens. But Wonwoo will never say a word about it, and Mingyu refuses to question him. Wonwoo's always known best.

Mingyu knows, too. Mingyu has known for as long as he can remember. He knows why the sadness happens. But he locked that part of himself away a long time ago, and he's long lost the key. 

(He's not sure he wants to remember, anyway.)

-

Sometimes when Mingyu opens his eyes, there's a rush of panic when Wonwoo is nowhere to be seen. He cries on these days, too, out of fear, hot tears rolling down his cheeks because _what if he doesn't come back?_

He always does return, of course, kissing Mingyu, wiping away his tears, telling him that he's okay, Wonwoo's here, everything is alright.

One day, he asks Wonwoo to promise him that they'll never leave each other's sides again. Wonwoo smiles and tells him that promises are useless anyway.

(And, as always, he trusts Wonwoo.)

On occasion the two will find themselves outside of their own tiny little Earth, sitting on the moon or wandering on a massive spaceship, maybe on an unknown planet millions of galaxies away. It's those times that Mingyu cries the most, longing for his home, his people.

Mingyu never misses the others - he's forgotten about them, mostly, besides faint recollections of names and maybe faces. There's a Seokmin, he remembers, and a Jun, out there somewhere. A Seungcheol, maybe, and Chan, Jisoo, Hansol, Minghao...

Most of the other names have faded from his memory. He recalls a beautiful long-haired boy, though, and a boy with raven-black hair and narrow eyes whose smile is never wiped off his face. Another is chubby-cheeked, young and innocent and happy and content. The last he remembers is short, bright mint-coloured hair, and though his face is cute there's a feeling of intimidation about him. Mingyu asks about the others, sometimes, wondering if Wonwoo might remember them.

(Wonwoo tells him he has no idea who he's talking about, to Mingyu's utter disappointment.)

-

Wonwoo does not speak of himself. He only speaks of Mingyu, of Mingyu's life and emotions and _Mingyu, Mingyu, Mingyu._ Sometimes it seems like Wonwoo is more of a robot than a person, programmed to be Mingyu's personal mental health assistant. 

(Wonwoo says it's only because he doesn't like talking about his life.)

"What was life like when there was people, Wonwoo?" Mingyu asks one day, as they're wandering through a redwood forest, trees towering higher than skyscrapers, touching the sky like Mingyu has always wished he could do.

Wonwoo shakes his head. "You know how it was, Mingyu. You remember. There was so many people... so many things to see. This world is beautiful, sure, but it's nothing compared to the _people_ , don't you think?"

Yes, Mingyu agrees silently, it's nothing compared to the people. He misses them, though he can barely hold onto his memories of them now. He remembers some vague ideas - a man that juggles swords lit on fire, a woman who sings as beautifully as a robin. He remembers festivals, parties, places where people were happy and for a split second the entire world felt at peace.

In this world, everything is always at peace, and it's only when Mingyu asks Wonwoo about the people does he realize how much he despises it. He remembers another part of the people, too - he remembers war and famine, the starving children, the young who lay in hospital beds, living like they are far older than reality should be. He remembers broken hearts, lost lives, and _pain,_ so much _pain._

(He doesn't miss the pain, no, but the peace of their universe is becoming more and more unsettling.)

-

The animals are gone.

He asks Wonwoo about this, why they don't see any squirrels or hares anymore, and the chirping of birds in the early morning has disappeared, leaving only an eerie silence to sit in the humid air. 

Wonwoo smiles sadly, shakes his head. "You'll be okay," he murmurs, instead of answering, and plants a kiss on Mingyu's lips. It's bittersweet and when they come apart, Mingyu is left to wonder if Wonwoo will be okay too.

(But, as always, he trusts Wonwoo.)

-

One morning, Mingyu blinks open his eyes to find himself in a strange new place. 

There's _things_ scattered all about, enclosed between walls - yes, walls, it's been ages since Mingyu saw those - things that Mingyu must think about before putting a name to. He hasn't seen these things in many years now.

There's a table in the centre of the room, and a big window that overlooks a stunning cityscape. Many floors below, Mingyu sees cars, driving busily across the road, but there's no people. There's a couch in the room, and a kitchen, with dirty dishes still scattered about. Wilted flowers sit on the coffee table in a glass vase. The carpet is a tacky blue, covered in a few suspicious stains.

But there's a picture on the wall, too, a picture of him and Wonwoo together, grinning for the camera, and Mingyu reaches a hand out to touch it and suddenly-

He _remembers._

Everything happens at once. Millions of images, of memories, flashing through his mind at impossible speeds. 

Mingyu is ten years old. A new boy named Wonwoo moves across the street from him, and they become quick friends.

Mingyu is twelve years old. Wonwoo and him are best friends and are perfectly happy.

Mingyu is fifteen years old. Wonwoo and him get into a massive argument and find other friends.

Mingyu is eighteen years old. Wonwoo comes running back to him and they _kiss_ and it is oh-so-blissful, and Mingyu wishes he could relive this memory forever.

Mingyu is twenty years old. He kisses Wonwoo before he leaves for work, telling him how much he loves him, and Wonwoo says the same.

Mingyu is twenty years old, on his way home from work late at night, when his car spins out.

Mingyu is twenty years old, on his way to see Wonwoo, when the car flips and everything goes black.

" _Wonwoo!"_ Mingyu screams suddenly, staggering, back in the apartment. Wonwoo is nowhere to be found, and hot tears are streaking down Mingyu's face, worse than he ever remembers it being. He ransacks the apartment, searching and searching and searching, but Wonwoo isn't there. Crying out, Mingyu runs from the apartment, from door to door, trying to find Wonwoo anywhere, _anywhere._

(He spends the entire day searching.)

His voice is raw from screaming for Wonwoo when he reaches a hospital, having searched every other building on the block. Desperately, he runs for it, and swings open the doors, and searches and searches and searches, through every section, every room.

He finds Wonwoo on the second floor in one of the rooms, staring down at an empty hospital bed. Mingyu doesn't read the nameplate, only runs to Wonwoo and envelops him in a tight hug, still sobbing.

"Mingyu," Wonwoo whispers, and when Mingyu finally pulls back he sees something he's not sure he's ever seen before. 

(Wonwoo is _crying,_ crying real tears.)

Mingyu glances at the nameplate when Wonwoo motions to it, and reads the name listed there. _Kim Mingyu,_ it says, etched in perfect writing. A heart monitor beats steadily, slowly, too slow for a conscious human. Mingyu stares at it in pure shock for god-knows-how-long, before Wonwoo hugs him once more.

This time, Wonwoo kisses him, and it's feverish, so much more than the tiny pecks he's been given for as long as he can remember. Mingyu kisses back, and when Wonwoo pulls away he leans in again, but Wonwoo turns his face.

"Mingyu," he says again, and this time it's solemn, almost too quiet to hear.

"Wonwoo, what's happening?" Mingyu asks, lip quivering, tears still wet on his face. Wonwoo wipes them away, trembling, still crying.

"Mingyu, do you love me?"

The question is ridiculous, Mingyu thinks, but he still answers, "yes."

"Do you trust me?" 

"Yes."

"Okay," Wonwoo whispers, "I need you to trust me now. You're going to be okay."

"Will you?" Mingyu asks, though he still doesn't know what's happening. All he knows is that his mind is filled with Wonwoo's eyes, Wonwoo's scent, the taste of his lips like tangerines.

Wonwoo laughs, but it's humourless. "Eventually," he says. "Mingyu, we're going to close our eyes and count to three, alright?" Mingyu nods, though still confused. "And when we reach three, you can open your eyes again, and everything will be okay."

Mingyu doesn't reply.

"Mingyu. _Do you trust me?"_

"Yes," Mingyu mumbles into Wonwoo's neck.

"Good. And Mingyu?"

"What?"

"I love you."

Together, they close their eyes and count to three, holding each other tightly. Mingyu never wants to let go, but he feels Wonwoo's release as they both whisper "three."

(But Wonwoo told him he would be okay.)

(And Mingyu will always trust Wonwoo.)

**Author's Note:**

> archive warnings: major character death (didn't wanna spoil the story if I didn't have to)
> 
> I can't believe I'm such a weakling that I cried writing this. save me
> 
> in case what happened is unclear - mingyu and wonwoo were lovers, but mingyu got into a car accident and fell into a coma. in his coma, he dreams of travelling to different places with wonwoo and they get their own personal universe. in the end of the story, mingyu is dying and wonwoo is his final release from his dream-world to the afterlife.
> 
> I might actually edit this at some point idk
> 
> anyway thanks for reading hope you enjoyed my pain


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